By Katie Fletcher
For The State News
If you haven't heard of the new movie "Delivery Boy Chronicles" don't worry. You're not missing anything.
After watching the movie, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was relieved, yet angry. I was pleased that the movie had finished, yet frustrated at the fact that I just wasted two hours.
"Delivery Boy Chronicles" is a so-called comedy that claims to be on the level of great movies like "Dazed and Confused" and "Office Space." Patrice Williams, director of the Century City Film Festival in Century City, Calif., even promised that the movie "has all the makings of a cult classic."
I think not.
It's hard to pick a place to start listing all the things wrong with this film, but let's start with the plot. Or, in this case, the lack of a plot. The film supposedly is about a group of friends and delivery drivers who don't want to spend their lives delivering food and instead, want to do something bigger.
But the script jumps around from pathetic story to boring anecdote. I can only guess that the director, Stacey Childers, intended this movie to be watched while in some altered mental state. Personally, I wouldn't waste the drugs.
"Delivery Boy Chronicles" is supposed to explore the ever-present question that plagues every college student: Is there life after college?
From the looks of the 30-something actors who portray perpetually unsatisfied delivery men and women, the answer is no.
The cinematography was unimaginative and lacked any sort of finesse.
This may have been a deliberate choice on the part of the filmmakers to connect the viewer with the equally unimaginative lives of the delivery men (and woman). However, all it did was bring to mind a poorly shot student film.
The characters were underdeveloped and clumsy. Shawn Mullins, a musician known for hits "Lullaby" and "Shimmer," is toted as the star of the movie and manages to do this with only a few minutes of screen time.
The other members of the cast were equally unremarkable, doing little to recommend themselves to the audience. Kelly Hobbs was particularly grating in her performance as Molly, the failed activist.
The only bright point of the movie came about a quarter of the way through during a shroom-induced hallucination that carried Ralph Price, as Mike, through a corporate interview.
The Willy Wonka-inspired song was at least mildly amusing, although not enough to save the rest of the movie.